� lines � 2003-05-29 � 7:57 p.m. �
Words help. Thank you Aclevername, and Mr. Parker for caring enough to tell me so.... for letting my bitch or cry... or both.
My network of strength spreads far doesn't it?
I know it's ok to be angry and tired... to be frustrated... jaded... and you know my tears of the last three days don't stem from ONE man's opinion of me, but of the effort I am faced with in the future. I realized suddenly, that it just WON'T get any better than this... and this girl doesn't know how to deal with it.
I almost stayed home today... i was still crying this morning... and I didn't want to see anything but the blue of my duvet cover over my face. I cried in the shower and as my boyfriend kissed me goodbye for the day. I cried the full length to work and I nearly turned back twice.
I was upset yesterday... and in the utmost anger I cried frusiously at work. I sat with Sheri and beat everything I hate about this life against the wall... and later that afternoon she hugged me tightly from behind, just as a mother would... and it reminded me just how much the people I work with care... perhaps they care more about my wellbeing than I. And that is why i woke this morning... and showered and stumbled against my better judgement to work. Because there... they listen to me... they love me and after they let me cry in fury they make me laugh it all away.
I love them too... even though at times we make eachother crazy. I suppose that's one lining in these clouds of grey.... a clear definition of who'll hold you and who will gladly watch you fall.
If I don't say it enough, I am sorry... but know for anyone who's held their hand out for me to grab, I appreciate it hugely and I am indebted to you always.
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