� Saturday morning... � 2003-10-04 � 12:16 p.m. �
I am beginning to feel overwhelmed with all I put off... I am the Queen Procrastinator and have been since birth.
Simple things... laundry... loads and loads of it to do, fold and put away. I much rather live out of baskets than folded clothes in drawers, but there comes a point when the piles are insane. I am at that point.
The tree outside my window is almost all yellow now... except for a few greens that have resisted the night's cold. I want to take pictures.... I have a roll of film to use, but motivation hasn't found me.
This morning one of the trees was fully turned and hanging on tight... beautiful, and within two hour's time, the wind has blown it bald. I am somehow sad for it.
My head pounds with sinuses filled of last night's smoke... my boyfriend's work had a celebratory dinner... and it was all but said in praise for him... We were the only two there that didn't have to lay a dime down all night... I just wasn't in the state to be cheery, and I pissed a little on the parade when I refused to move bars all night long.
NOR was I getting home and asleep to have my boyfriend phone me for a ride... I also wasn't going to leave him in drunken company I didn't know and pray for him to get back safely.
So piss on them I did and he came home with me... rather early, but still plently drunk.
I have spend enough of my life tending after people who don't know how to control themselves... I am not about to let become in this stage of life... i am sure that concept is lost on many but... until the position comes when you're worn thin by stoned, drunken stupidity for years straight, childhoos lost to premature maturity... then maybe ideals would seem rational... rules... boundaries.
I make both in this instance of my life and if you want my compnay... you abide. Simply.
So my morning beats on... with cleaning and aspirations of fall photography... i am sure none of it will be done.
And the bearer of bad news called early this morning... my father's oldest friend's wife died on Thursday, of a heart attack. She was in her mid-fifties and left behind four daughters, a husband, and seven grandkids.
I haven't seen her in nearly ten years i think, but memoreis of her will not be lost... and I know she is missed greatly.
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