B-L-A-H 2003-08-20 10:23 p.m.


I cried tonight in stress of work... and health and life...

I don't cry hard enough... or nearly enough and maybe this is just the inevitable showing face finally.

I should see a doctor. The left side of my tummy is falling lower... much lower than my right... and the pressure at times is unbearable. I might be worried for nothing... Or I could be coming undone. Truth is, I've never fully healed from surgery. I am constantly fighting infection at the site. I dunno... you know, I'll keel over before I get around to seeing him.

Nicole is coming the weekend after this one. She's bringing her boyfriend. I warned her I am a little unwell.... body and mind and that in this shithole of a city we won't do anything but drink and eat and laugh and eat.... maybe see a movie... and laugh a little more and eat.

I am sure they'll be ok with it. She's family... close enough. And as much as I want to be entertaining... I don't think I can be.

I had a great laugh today alone after work... It was wonderful. Ufortunately, I can't share the funny with you.

Sean, sweetymuffinhead, you're the only one I've told.

In our words.... Blllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!


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