� Until Tonight � 2003-08-19 � 6:03 p.m. �
I read an entry today that made me cry... and think... and remember...
It puts in perspective that other people have lived hard too. I dare say that relieves me, but in a way it does.
I know FAR too many people raised with silver spoons... with so few real worries, very shaded views and I get tired.... tired of it, and them... and listening to how they mightn't be able to get Daddy to pay for something... or they might have to cancel one of their sun-holiday trips... or how, GOD FORBID, they have to find a fucking job, for once in their over-protected and well paid for lives.
I know far too many people who give up good for worse. Who leave the people who love them DEEPLY and wholly for a smack freak they bumped into on Ste-Cat's... or some guy on the internet they don't really know... only to end up "maybe pregnant", married... or with something they never bargained for... that isn't soon to leave.
Those are the types of things I hear of. Those are the problems of the average kid my age... THAT is, apparently, what it is to be 20-something.
And until today, I felt like the only girl my age who has lived... and lived hard.
My views of easy and tough have become very black and white over the years... I suppose that's justified...
There was little, I thought, I couldn't deal with, until this evening when I tunrned the table 30 degrees... There is no black nor white there... but the comfort is, it reminds us we're living... it reminds us we are not typical... and it reminds us that we know what it's like to sweat blood.
Literally...
And, in way unbeknown to most... that experience is a valuable thing.
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