� crackled flesh � 2003-07-17 � 7:42 p.m. �
I am braided in a world of frustration meets complicated.
I am young... my body is old and my soul is older... I question what more I can take. I think back on a past bruised... and I can barely deal with the memories - I wonder how I got through...
I look at myself in the mirror...
I am small and painted delicately with scars and spider veins... I am 23 and this frame looks eighty... each mark premature... partly genetic... mostly war.
I think of all the men who have loved me... I wonder what parts of this they love... what's worth loving? What isn't? I wonder why my only fortunes and misfortunes are all shaped by Adam's clay.
It's heavy contemplation... it's hard dealing... it's lined thick with envy and regret...
I could have done better... I know better...
I could have meant everything to you, if only... I live this way.
~Anyone arrogant enough to say they live now without regret... will live lonely and die with many.~
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