� medusa � 2003-01-19 � 4:15 p.m. �
All I can do is sleep and fight sleep...
I am losing all edge... all drive. Even at work I fight myself to stay awake... not to fall into a dream world... a trance... a better place to live and breathe....
I am not eating much... I am not talking much... I am not thinking or caring or knowing... I am not here.
I have nothing to point at this time... nothing to blame for dropping me this way.
I know depression... she is my second face... she is the downfall of the girl who stares back at me.... she is what keeps me raw.... real... pensive... tired... hungry.... she swells my tummy with anxiety and my legs with pain.... she forces me to hate my skin, my body...
I live questioning my life like a cheap game show.
I know her and I refuse to avenge her.
I've tried before...
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