� home and body � 2002-12-10 � 10:49 p.m. �
I've always been this way... much prefering to sit at home with a glass of wine and a candle burning... alone need be... than anywhere where noise and faces overwhelm me.
It's not that I am not a social person... I just can't learn anything in a place I can't hear or think... or see clearly.
I guess I've always thought those who need to find the party are really searching for more than a good time... They seem to be looking for a place to belong... with people who might not accept them without conditions. Looking for somehting that doesn't exist.
I've seen it so many times... in the boys I've known and hung around with... in the lines of their fun... the charisma and the rush behind the constant trebble.
I guess I owe my calm to Marc. Showing me how much I hate noise... how much I perfer the warmth of a friendly pub... Guinness at the Ole' Dublin.... Merlot in your bed... drinking water while sitting on the edge of your tub...
Through these eyes I watched a man party his life away... with noise and people and every kind of drug. But in keeping you clean I found a peace that I've since kept... flushing my own immaturities away with your habits...
"She helped me see that a real man - a mature man - is most comfortable, happy and free, in his own home.... alone."
Your words have stuck with me.
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