� made of these � 2002-11-15 � 11:19 p.m. �

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I dreamt last night I was pregnant... and a man stood behind me. We stood together staring out a window, over a valley and into the stars...

His arms cradled between my breasts and my belly, he kissed the corner where my jaw meets my neck... rubbed his face gently against mine... I didn't recognize him... but he was nice.

I woke up safe, and clear... cheeks wet with tears...

For whatever reason I felt prepared... and I kept thinking, for reasons unknown... "there was a time before this... that i would have considered just about anything to end a life like this..."

I wonder if I was standing in my mother's skin...

Or I wonder if this is the clarity to all I've been asking.

The devotion of a woman with a life living before and behind her - a feeling I didn't know.

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