� Dear Nate... sorries mean nothing � 2002-11-13 � 10:54 p.m. �

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Dear Nate,

I've been struggling for a week to find the perfect words... and now I know they don't exist. I just didn't have the strength to phone you and hear your voice... I would have only cried, and I know you wouldn't have wanted that or needed it. I didn't want to be just another phone call either.

After everything you've done for me throughout my life... in all that you mean to me, I just can't go without telling you how much I love you.

I almost came home last week. But I know with everyone around you, you didn't need me there. I was just feeling like being close to you and Cam would make it easier for me. Selfish eh?

Cameron tells me that your strength astounds him... and that's a relief for me. I am so glad - glad that you have Sarah there too.

You do know, Nate, that you are family and your happiness and heart mean the world to me. When your heart breaks... so does mine... and more so when I can't do anything to fix it.

And though "I am sorry"'s have been a dime a dozen lately... from the very bottom of my heart I am.

Right now, I only wish I could hug you...

I love you,

-Amanda

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