� I Like the way it looked on my face � 2001-12-29 � 7:10 p.m. �
Life is crazy... and the people who live it are crazier.
I am home today from a few days with a family that is not mine, but somehow I feel like I fit in there... more so than I do with my own.
I sat in on wedding... my boyfriend's Granfather's. I helped set up, I help decorate, I sat in on rehearsal... I watched... silently and not so. I heard the "I do"'s... I witnessed the kiss... i was there for the toast, the cake, the speaches, the works... and I was introduced by the groom as his family.
Wow.
I finally met all the sisters and their husbands... and the new sister and her husband... I met the last of the McCubbin sisters with a huge hug "You must be Amanda... I am Nancy... Auntie Pio... either or"
It's almost surreal... being thrown into a world you were never a part of and it is as though you never left... walking into the basement where the one you live with used to live... picturing it then... yeah I can see it... having to reach higher than the sky to see into a mirror in a bathroom set for him... Hearing him talk about life back then. He never does. Listening to how he hated living there... Not there with his aunt but there in Edmonton... how a love he now sees as completely blind forced him there. Listening to him reason things he used to do for fun. "Going dancing"... by boy? I can't see that. Well he did... but never by choice, he said... never because he liked it.Well, he said, sometimes it was fun, but maybe only for a minute... when he "saw something worth looking at" pass him by... fun for that second, and then, he said back to the bore.
That place, he said never had anything for him, never will. Unless, he said it's something we decided to do together. It's strange to hear him speak in retrospect. To hear him realize that one great lose gained him hugely... what he pined over for a long time, he never thinks of... Strange how one person gets to where they are.
Strange these few days were for me. The were physically excrusiating - more intense than usual... more than I can ever bear. But they were interesting days... Interesting to spend them with his little sister... how I love her to death... Interesting to crawl up the stairs early this morning and sit with his Dad at the table and chat for almost an hour... interesting that it didn't make me uncomfortable... that nothing about those days were uncomfortable...
Interesting I fit right in.
Interesting... I am not just his girlfriend anymore... I belong to them... and they belong to me. Wow... I am dazzled by the sentimental.
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