� Screaming Out MacBeth! � 2001-12-05 � 10:36 p.m. �
I guess I am amused easily today.
I wonder how a word with one true meaning gets obscured. I wonder how people see judgement as based not on fact. Where did they get that from? Do they not see judgement everyday?
1) The act or process of judging; the formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation.
2) The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships;
3) The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating: "His judgment of fine music is impeccable."
4) The capacity to assess situations or circumstances and draw sound conclusions; good sense:
And so when you say I judge you. I do. Based on the reality of my past with you. Based on fact. Based on the true meaning of... I judge you.
If you don't agree with what I say, maybe you shouldn't have thrown yourself out that way.
The only words that hurt are the words read... not written.
So the next time, your boysish self gets stung, rip the stinger out and go on living. The only opinion that should truly matter in this world is yours. Everyone has the right to thought and the right to free expression. What others do with that is of their own concern. Not yours.
Life is going to be pain-stakenly long if you look for people to accept you. It's a cold world, and people you thought would always take you for what you're worth... rarely ever did.
And that isn't lack of emotion. That's truth. I have plenty of emotion... only I have learned when it's worth being shown... worth being worked and wrecked... and when it's worth being left alone.
So call me as you will, child. Think what you like. Tell me I am up for damnation if you think that's where I'll go.
Tell me my Lover doesn't love me.. that he looks at me and only sees his past. That his past is all he is. I mean you'd know... you live in his house you do... you dance in his shower and you sleep like lamb in his bed. So sweet.
Go on and tell me that the life we have is not ours but his former infatuations.. go on.. it doesn't sting.
I hope he loves her. She is worthy of his love, and he worthy of hers. They grew together but they are not the other. They are individuals... Two seperate people... if they were ever one.. they would still be.
And tell me I am a lot like her. I like that. I am. We're more alike than I ever realized... in our tastes for people... in our weakness... in our truths and in our loves. Tell me I am like her once more. I am.
All that she is: caring, kind, forgiving... stubborn when she has to be... never too tough. Willing to fight for what she believes in... and willing to overlook differences... seeing an apology for all that's worth... taking it with all the Grace her God gave her...
Yeah that's not so bad to be.
I doesn't matter what you think, child... what I make of me is all that matters to me.
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