� Fiddler's Green � 2001-11-08 � 9:48 p.m. �
~tie yourself to the mast my friend, and the storm will end~
Do you love irony the way I do? I so do. I picked up the phone this morning to call in sick... for what the fourth time this week. I misdialed....
"Association for the Physically Handi-capped, How may I help you?"
That is irony at it's purest.
My friend wrote back today... I guess he understands more than I thought...
Hey, I'm really concerned about you and I wish I could be there and cheer you up. I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix everything for you.
I want you to make a list of everyone and everything you have in your life that you love or that makes you feel good. I want you to write at least 25 things and/or people. I also want you to write down a list of 5 things that you are capable of doing. You can put crying on the list if you want to. (It's still a verb). I want you to send me these lists. (you can write down "I can send these lists to Dan" as one of the things that you can do.). If you can think of more than five things you can do, then you don't have to stop at 5, you can write more. If you feel to weak to type, you can dictate these things. I also want you to print off these lists for yourself and put them on your wall.
It's ok to be sad, but depression is more pain then anyone needs to bear.
Another thing you can do, is set aside one hour a day where you allow yourself to cry. That way during the day you can fight off your feelings of sadness by saying to yourself "I'll deal with that from 3:00 to 4:00."
That's pretty amazing advice. probably the best I've gotten in a LONG LONG time. If only I could cry for one hour a day.
And when I think about the past we shared, I don't know then if I would have chosen, you, to hold me up through this... and to be honest, i am not sure why I am asking you now. I guess we were tighter friends that I ever thought.
Last night, after writing you, i thought about the February you moved home.... How hard I tried to see you... to talk to you... and how you sorta blew me off. I was a bit angry then, but I completely understand now. So I am sorry for being angry... it wasn't fair.
Thank you... I'm too tired to tie myself to that mast tonight... maybe tomorrow... and I think maybe I need someone to stand beside me, just in case.
On the sweeter side... someone made me a flower today... It's a very pretty flower... from a very pretty friend. Thank you.
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