� what a girl does � 2005-10-08 � 7:18 p.m. �
The everyday seems so plain... I could live it without being here... it has no depth; it's only a motion... and not much more... If I don't struggle to find those little things... I get bored.
Last night I was looking at my fiance... for nothing more than I was ready to say good night. Me, with my neverending sinus ache had to call it early nights... and I snuck into his realm of computer towers to kiss his lips and say "I love you."
Man simply doesn't get more beautiful than him... His every feature is perfect... the shape of his face, his nose, his ears... his hair is the perfect chocolate brown and his eyes the best blue-grey. I think the colour was sampled from a morning sea.
I noticed for the first time last night that his lashes might put mine in competition... well, I'm still certain that mine are longer and fuller, but his
come very close to matching them...
I laugh... "Our babies are going to be nothing more than BIG eyes with HUGE lashes." I have this ridiculous image of a small child... with impossibly long lashes, so much so his face gets lost.
As much as I'm aware that it's a good feature to have... I also know what a pain it is when they get caught or tangled in eyebrows... or how glasses push them in awkward ways and make eyes water like they never will again. It doesn't go without consequence... and I had hoped when I had children, the eyelash gene wouldn't be dominant... I think that hope is lost.
I have been sick today... other than the sinus thing, I've been incredibly and suddenly nauseous. I wasted my Tim Hortons within minutes... I might as well have flushed the $2.00.
This is what the pill does to me... or my cycle... I guess both since they go hand in hand... and I've tried probably 60 brands since I was 12 and not one doesn't make me puke buckets at least once a month.
These are my choices in life... don't take birthcontrol and completely ruin any chance of ever having my own children.... or, take it in good faith of improving my chances slightly.... and deal with weight gain, and leg aches and headaches and cramps.... and puking a LOT... generally being the most miserable and craziest bitch in the land.
What a girl does...
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