� Nail in my hand - from my creator � 2003-10-13 � 12:09 p.m. �
You died tomorrow.
And today I sit naked in a symbolic attempt to show you how I've felt since you've gone.
Bare. Empty. Sorry. Shameful.
I often ache in memory... in the need for May 31 and July 29... and though I'll never push remembrance to the curb, holding on with knuckles white is less and less frequent.
I hope you don't think I love you less. I don't.
It's a slow go getting over you, but I am trying, Hun, I really am.
The tree that stands in your honour is wilted for the third time. I don't think he's going to make it and I blame myself for letting him freeze. Ironic, isn't it?
I seem a little less than stable when I stand teary over a little pine sittng on my stove top... but I can't bother to explain the relationship.... the tree to me and you.
The world shifts and changes... even around you... and there are things about the world now that you would hate and I am glad you're not around to witness them. There are things you'd love and I am sorry you're missing. Chris Cornell joined forces with the boys from Rage and they have a CD out. You'd love it. I get a little solemn when they play... memories.
I've come a long way and I wonder if you'd recognize me. I wonder if you'd know my face by feel the way you used to.
Certain pieces in a day pull my harp stings like a trigger, and as faded as your face as become, I feel you leaning over me... full weight.
I'll never forget the way you smell. The milk of your skin... how evenly you could cover me... and how soft you could whipser... it's hard, even with the common bonds we shared, it's hard to reach out mourn without breaking trust.
I swore to you no one would know, and no one who knew you, ever will. To your grave you took it, and to mine I will too.
You were definitely the best secert I'll ever keep.
~You gave me life now... show me how to live...~
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