� mistake � 2003-10-12 � 2:40 p.m. �
I like when people tell me things I either don't rememeber as truth or simply can't be truth...
I like looking at their view and nearly laughing at what I already know what is.
Are frienships really so strong they can withstand anything? Hatred? Breech of trust? Violence? Pain?
No.
And, I would never take a friend who previously wanted to smash me and consider them friendly ever again... it's distaste... and distaste is thicker than blood.
I don't often forgive and I NEVER forget.
I am believer that few things are genuine accident... meant without malice or without intension... and I know if you know my life you probably find that amazing... but truth is that an accident is nothing more that two or more incidents meeting head... not that NO ONE is to blame, but everyone is to blame equally... so why feel bad about it, say it was no one and go home with a smile...
Lack of responsibility.... and that isn't what I stand for... I might be the most responsible person I know, in that sense... I know where I've put my hands and I know where the rust still lays... I know with whom to be and not to be angery with... and when the bottle stops spinning it always lands on me.
I don't believe in saying "I didn't mean it..." we always do mean it... or we would roll our tongues more carefully or pinch a little less hard...
I know about a man who hated his roommate so much he admitted at one point he wanted to hurt her... physically wanted to make her bleed for her ignorance. He called everything from dumb to bitch and back again. And now he believes he never meant that and treats her as an aunt to his child...
That situation is enough to sicken me... that she might allow a man who THINKS (and still thinks) she is no better than the dirt he spits on, into her life at his convenience... when he needs something... needs her... needs money. Any other time in his life (when they weren't fucking) she was a moron... not good enough for anything... but good enough to hate and live with.
What makes me puke more is that he is the type of man to teach his own child how not to love that very same way. I fear for this baby and I barely know him.
But you know his father has a million reasons to be how he is... bad childhood... bad teenage years... drug habit... was never loved... the boy's father have reason in the WORLD behind him to chalk his attitude up to being a mistake and irrational in the moment (that lasted over 6 months).
People like that... like the man, the woman who married him, the roommate who has forgiven him... they drive me insane... they live forgetting... and they keep making the same mistakes.
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