� drumming � 2003-10-09 � 9:38 p.m. �

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I drum like the third man in a quartette...

I am dizzy... from the fall breeze... from the stigma... from the brick in my back that won't stop shifting... constantly moving... a reminder that I am... if I am nothing else, I just am.

I hate roots... not the kind that builds an Aspen but the kind that turn my hair from blonde to mud. I can't afford new hair and I won't do it myself.

Thanksgiving is coming... it was never big at home... Mum would make a turkey but generally it was just a day... a long weekend... I very badly need this long weekend.

But I have to go in early to start the day, to end the day... and to have Monday off.

I have this borderline insane ability to recall birthdays... I remember almost everyone's and if I don't have it right on, I have it within a day or two... yesterday I was going crazy knowing today was someone's birthday... someone important.... and I scanned my memory all night... even in my sleep.

I woke up to the answer... John Lennon was born this day... and though he isn't a friend... I grew up knowing he is important...

I laughed aloud when relief hit me... and I shook my head... for a moment even I thought I might need a shrink.

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