� the slant � 2003-07-08 � 5:09 p.m. �

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I am lost.... it isn't love or lack of... it isn't pain or gain.

A friend once said he can't believe how death and hurt can find me.... no matter where I am...

I can't believe it either.

For the sake of memory... every one I share with you as flooded back this afternoon... and every moment I could have treated you with better Grace, I wish I had.

I am not strong enough to know this let alone be an intricate part of it... and this once it isn't about me, but it still feels like it.

It's torture... living... loving... losing.... I do it alot.

I want it to stop.

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