� anxiety � 2003-05-01 � 8:45 p.m. �
It's suppose to snow tonight... tomorrow and straight through until Monday... It was sunny and warm today...
As time draws nearer, I have a lot to do... and I get lazier... at home and at work... I think it's highly evident I need this holiday.
I still have bouts of anxiety... life has changed from light to dark and back again since I've been away... and there are some moments I am dreading... some arms I am going to fall into with tears... some I am not going to want to pull away from.
And you know... I still fear him most... fear running into him... fear the words... the fights... the inevitable blood... I am so fucking scared of his face... and I shouldn't be....
In two and a half years... I've changed so completely... and in so many ways I am still the same kid.
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