� comfort � 2003-02-16 � 12:03 p.m. �
I woke up different. I don't know what is different but the edge inside me assures me something is.
I felt it coming late evening yesterday... I felt unable to put words on my tongue and my brain seemed shut off from the rest of me. My head hurt... it has for a long while now and I know, maybe better than most, that pain changes people.... slowly and drastically.
I feel asleep on the couch early... and like the tale end of a dream I remember my boyfriend scooping me up and laying me on our bed... and what wasn't moments but ages, later I felt him tugging at my clothes.... my socks and my pants... unzipping my hoody.... and in a zombie state I managed to get up to brush my teeth.
I fell silent until the nagging of our cat at half seven this morning... I got up to feed him.... sometimes I wish I didn't speak cat.
And from the moment I stepped my foot to the cold, it was definite that I am different, somehow today, than I was yesterday.
Maybe it's a realization of everything falling into place for me... finally...
I am not comfortable with being comfortable. It's very new to me.
� previous � next � comments � diaryland � old �