� Time can mean so much � 2002-11-29 � 11:13 p.m. �
Time astounds me... how it can fly by and stand still all at once.
I can't believe it's been two years since I last hugged my father... and my brothers... two years since the day that I left them.
I don't believe there's a family quite as close as mine... and to be so far away for long, I can barely believe I've managed. That we've managed... and I know we're all starting to feel the pressure... the longing more than ever.
Today also marks the day that I dove deeper into love than I ever have.... I fell into convictions I barely knew... and lost myself completely in a man... one whom, after two years of seeing night and day, with hardly a week's separation in our entirety, I can honestly say I love more each morning than the morning before. That almost scares me.
In the same respect I can barely remember a day in my life without him... I've changed so much in the last years I don't recognize myself standing beside the girl I was. It's hard weight deciding whom is better. Change never truly has a face.
I used to be independent... and strong and different... and I think it's the codependency with love that is hardest adjusting. A man has to give up his freedom and a woman has to give up herself... Difference fades with maturity... and some time in life we all fall for the every day - the ordinary.
This morning I said I wanted the power to freeze time... so the world around me would freeze and I could go on doing my thing without distractions... demands and the constant beckoning of my name in the distance... I almost wouldn't care if I got older and the world around me didn't. If when I was done, i was ready to wilt... and everyone else was living...
By the end of the day... freezing time didn't seem so important.
My day closed, greeted by a dozen long stem roses, a lovely dinner and a kiss...
Two years that feel like an eternity... with time stopped, I would have missed.
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