� Into the red. � 2002-11-19 � 9:19 p.m. �
Something inside is killing me... I wonder if it shows in my eyes...
I wonder, sometimes, how much I have to fight before I can stop. Before life stops... I wonder how many more times the same scene will play without me in it and still feeling it.
The powerless... standing on the shores of the East River... dying to jump in.
And I wonder what I did to deserve this... I wasn't born originally sinned... or was I?
I wonder why the mind is has so much more strength than the body... I wonder what makes a sane man, weak...
And though, I wonder... I'll never know nor understand these things.
I dream he finds me - out of the blue... he has once before, I know he will again... and he asks me how I am...
"Well... my cunt has been bleeding for years... other than you... I am good."
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