What's wrong Colonel Tom? 2002-09-20 8:27 a.m.


I've changed so completely in the last few years I don't even recognize my face.

What changes a girl from happy to manic and sad slowly... but the constant obligation to fight - body and soul.

I know truly what I want... and truly what I need... but the strength to achieve that loses me.

I wasn't born hostile... i wasn't born loud or violent... but something in this life of mine has pushed me to the edge of descruction... and I am afraid one day... he's going to say the wrong thing... he's going to keep going when I plead with him to stop... I am gonna hurt him... or hurt me...

Somewhere in all of this... because I pack the most for scars... I am the one who needs help... I take all the blame... and I hold both our weights...

Idealistics of the perfect girl are soon... so very soon.... going to kill me.


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