� Ruby are you mad at your Man? � 2002-05-17 � 6:12 p.m. �
It feels lately... and just very lately that everything is always the same... I have the same morning rituals... I can handle those... I think, in fact, I need those to get to work on time... I walk the same path with the same steps everyday to work... pass the same people... say "Good morning" in the same tone... flash the same smile.... to the point it's almost fake.
I walk in the front door... up the few steps... in the same fashion... thinking always it feels as my legs might give way.... remove my sweater... tuck my handbag into the bottom left drawer of my desk... and sit lightly on my chair as I always do... I go through the hurricane I left the night before and I organize my time accordingly...
Even my organizing has the same pattern... ready for press... then corrections.. then minor revisions... then rush jobs and finally the new work... which in itself is divided into... new and quick to do, new and time comsuming... and new and I don't want to do it but will have to sometime today.
It smells sour altogether... I took a long break today and read my newspaper... to soften the hardness of my Friday.
I could never see myself participating in anything weekly and scheduled... that would do me in... really... all the types that play ball.. every week at the same time... youth groups... It's great if you can do that... And bars... eventually would not be fun. I would start to hate the faces... start to despise the company... and I would have to leave... and never look back.
I am nomadic at heart... I can't be still.. I can't eat the same thing everyday... I can't use the same shampoo for more than a few weeks... I can't do anything for any huge length of time...
Peripetuity will kill me...
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