� Fourth Floor Window � 2002-04-25 � 9:12 p.m. �
Closer to 9 p.m. he speaks:
"A game of letter wars we have ourselves into. I would call, but I don't have your number anymore. It got burnt, somehow a while ago. A little incident with the crooked spoon, you don't want to know. Plus, I assume you've told your boyfriend about this and so I am guessing he hates me. Who knows what you did or did not disclose; knowing you just a few details of everything we stood for.
The word attack was the wrong one to use, you're right. You're right about everything.
Your life and your views blow me away. Very sharp, clear. Very as it all is and less of how you want it be. You have some great qualities, among them - to say it EXACTLY the way it is.
I didn't hit tonight. I won't. Don't feel like it. Feeling like I should think more and act less. You know how it is.
And I do owe you a huge apology with no excuses attached.
Amanda, I am sorry for what I do and how I speak. I am sorry for taking years of us and throwing them away. Tu sais que la vie est dure. I have nothing but the world's best words for you. You're an amazing person puis ton chum est tellement chanceux. I hope he holds on to that. De tous mes rapports, tous mes filles, c'est avec vous que je part un rapport pur et le plus confiante. I see things in you I only hope my daughter picks up.
En plus, c'est fait longtemps que nous sommes connus. Je vous aime toujours."
A chase it has been. I know our friendship has huge gapping holes in it. I didn't know you could write that way... saw me that way... still do.
So many things I could say, but really... I am tired of chasing words for you. Tant mieux...I would never ask you to apologize to me... that apology belongs to you... but I know and accept that you're sorry.
You make me weak. I write everything in here... so this feels more real for me... sometimes I find it hard to believe we still coexist.
� previous � next � comments � diaryland � old �