� The journey past you � 2002-04-23 � 6:20 p.m. �
So I learn everything I need to know about you in one instance...
and I think it's your ugliness that gets me the most.
Physically to turn any person's stomach summersaults... and beyond that it gets worse... You're far more horrid than the fifteen people who told me you're sin could have ever said... lucky I learned for myself I guess.
Asking for something kindly gets you miles in this world. Being fair... even more... but I suppose when you're used to a world that is your own... what would you know?
I can't relate but I can make the stretch and say I get it... maybe...
I do well here... I live well... generally... Better since I haven't known you. I work a lot for little pay... so I guess I value what my dollar makes... I am almost done paying for my years at school... I have a job... experience with every heartbeat... better than a BA I'd say...
I have wealth around me... in friends that don't leave me... in loves that will never die... People outside my parents who will never write me off for anything. Can't say i have fifteen people who dislike me unimaginably... can't say anyone's wished death upon me.. except maybe you... but you're below it's worthlessness... so that dismisses you.
I guess strength comes from a place far deeper than your soul (though your isn't so deep but you get my point)... guess it comes from a will not to need people to make you whole... again.. nothing you could ever know.
From the ability to jump ship and live... but then again... that's beyond you too I suppose....
I know what you show me - nothing more... my opinions of you are only what you've painted... so if you don't like what I've seen.... then present yourself differently i suppose... don't bother with me... your ugliness has already eaten me... but for the future...
Shine up a bit... grow up more... cheat less on the ones who love you... stay clean (drugs... disease... whatever you have that you caused...) stay honourable... less to yourself... that has made you selfish... and bitter to taste.
My sigh is here... I should have listened when i was told.... people who knew you when... know you now better than anyone... we change on the surface... the stains and unspeakable distrust and dislike... stays deep within...
When we grow, we can see it and admit... those who don't grow... they end up with a face like yours.
i am not sure I have that black core... nor does anyone I know or love... I guess it's a good thing I am rid of you... before whatever has spoiled you gets to me too.
Live well ugly soul... if that's the only good you can do.
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