� ~Fabulously Rich~ � 2002-01-13 � 7:50 p.m. �
I guess I have to start naming names so false conclusions cannot be made.
A friend told me that when things are broken down they are easier to deal with... Yes that is right. Yet some people cannot be torn apart.
When the appearance of Conflict meets the appearance of Force.
But yeah she is right... if you could break that down.
If I could just deal with the scars on my body and not associate them with the pain....
If I could pretend my lower back was damaged by a fall... If everytime I closed my eyes... i didn't see his ugly face... Then...
But sometimes things correlate... and I can't lie to my mirror or my mind. I know what's true and what is fiction... I know it exists as one...
And it's not as though I haven't tried to break it down... I have... but even doctors agree... I just can't.
So... what was said yesterday was a tangle of the past... of different things I've dealt with. Of not being allowed to be a teen... of being too much a woman when I was still a kid... it was a letter to the likes of them who have been apart of that... how you phone me begging forgiveness... how you think since you've forgotten what you did... so will I. How I am a person of your convenience... when you need me... I should be blind to the past... and lift you to your future...
It's of that I was speaking... and of nothing else... of how it's very easy for them... only because I spared them... one of a lot less than he deserves.
Anyway... not that I have to... but that my justification... that is my reasoning for finding a reality where they can't find me... No matter where I go.. how far I move... they do.
~I am armed with will and it's frustrtaion and Grace Too~
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