� and now I know... � 2007-09-11 � 7:56 p.m. �
Sunday, my mother-in-law came home from church, walked through my front door and held me as I cried my soul on her sleeve... She told me of a passage that her minister read at service... not knowing my pain nor hers - a passage that spoke about how He knows us before we are even thought about, and he knows our beginning and He knows our end... and how He created us with a purpose no matter how little or long we live...
I'm not a religious girl, but I've done a lot of praying this weekend.
I had nothing left to lose.
At first I prayed for it to stop. I prayed to wake up healthy and aware of life. I prayed to be given a chance... a real chance to prove my worth... I kept praying... to the point the only sound I could hear at a moment's still was my own voice saying "Please, God, don't take this from me."
But He did.
As might be His will.
I have a friend who believes in the power of prayer... he believes that God is good and God is all and he told me on Sunday that God cares... in spite of it all - I have to believe He does. My friend told me I could reason with Him, He was big enough to listen.
So I prayed... again... harder... and I told Him how I felt he wasn't being fair. I told him I wanted this... and I couldn't find a reason. I needed a reason... a purpose to get through. I wasn't sure if He heard me. I'm not sure that He cared.
Today, I'm sure He did.
I doesn't mean I forgive Him, yet.
� previous � next � comments � diaryland � old �