stop, drop and drown 2006-08-24 4:53 p.m.


I feel it coming back again...

My soul hurts.

I blame talking about my younger days... when I think of it... it hurts. I try not to, but in the end it still hurts.

I blame myself for being too much like myself... I know you'll never get it...

There are times... times like last night at 12 am when I wanted to drown myself... or hold my breath... and I only had a boy in Australia and a boy in Montreal to hear me... Neither had much time for whining anyway... and I didn't want to whine... I wanted to cry...

I know I should have called just to cry... but I was afraid that talking would make the tears flow... and not stop... I was a fraid of drowning.

I still am.

Shake this... rid this... sell this...

I blame myself for loving you...


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