� United by fear � 2006-06-20 � 6:41 p.m. �
I fear...
I fear it but I admit it...
The consuming need to beg... to give thanks... to apologize.
This isn't who I am... but I think if I had to live a day without this little piece of me... I don't think I would easily survive.
Have you ever had someone breathe life down your throat and to your chest?
I see in you... what has been missing from me... it should have come forth with a different face... but it didn't. Shame on me... and the wheel rolls my way, again.
I fear it... and I admit it.
That you're right...
You're right....
You're right...
And now what? What then? What if? What for?
I'd rather live a thousand days with glass between us... then live a minute with a void.
That's me... and if you were meant to be to me who I am sure you are... then you'd agree... or you'd try to compromise... and be true, fair... and whole... and you'd try for me anyway.
Why can't you? Why can't you care... and be there... and let me there... and laugh, and play... sit in the sandbox like five-year-olds... why do we have to define a frienship... beyond... being there?
I believe in the connection of souls... I always thought... you were another Davy... not that I'm out for a new one... but that I could count on you when I couldn't count on anyone.
I need people like that... like him... like you... I know you do too...
I've done this before... I won't do it again....
I'm not getting fucked over for fear... no matter how much I love...
When will I learn I'm worth more than this? When will I stop letting you win?
When... when... when...
When the fear subsides... and I can breathe again... without your lungs - just mine.
� previous � next � comments � diaryland � old �