Polly want a diamond ring? 2006-05-15 10:21 p.m.


I have a childhood friend who makes my stomach ache in laughter within minutes of hearing her voice....

Tonight... I somehow deduced that men are like parrots and we should all just buy a bird.

Me: "Parrots and men mimic and shit... that's it... why not get a bird?"

Her: "Yeah... you're right... and like a bird, if you throw a blanket over his head, he usually falls asleep..."

Me: "Or he thinks he's gonna get some... have to walk lightly around that one... it could go either way... but if he does get excited you could just point him toward a mirror and walk away..."

Her: "Yeah... and if you bought a bird, you could still have a big ring and a nice house. Think of the money you'll save when you don't have to buy him his big truck... or his fancy fucking TV."

Me: "Amen... mine just spent $2500 on a TV."

Her: "Well, you were the dumb one who got married. Should have got a bird."

Me: "Yeah maybe... but parrots are hearty bastards and live forever... husbands don't."


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