� Brotherly... � 2005-04-22 � 10:58 p.m. �

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Does anyone remember the summer of 1998? or was it the summer of 1999? Both we bad for me... and I remember them well, yet I can't distinguish them for the pain.

I think 1998 was painful and 1999 depressed me... what do I know? It's all the same.

I see agnony in colour... I remember discomfort by the taste. I know the feeling of being so human and so immortable all at once.

I begged to die, but I didn't have the balls to anything about it.

I remember Cameron came home from Texas, Louisiana, Florida, wherever he was at the time.

I called him one night and said "I want to die" so definitely and "I miss you. Come home" so delicately....

The next morning he woke me up knocking at the door. He took the first flight out the night before...

I wonder what it cost him to do that. He must have paid through the nose...

I wonder if he knows he probably saved my life that night...

What a brother won't do for his little sister... and what she wouldn't do for him...

I'll never forget it... everytime I hurt as bad as I did then, I'll always remember his love.

Tonight is one of those nights.

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