hokey-pokey 2004-07-18 9:46 p.m.


I am a viral bog... a pool of germs I didn't create, but seem to like me... love me infact... and choose me as host.

I must be a good one.

I've had a headache since.... well... since J's birthday... really... Canada Day weekend... where I threw up (the nice guest I am) three or four times at his. I didn't know if it was the headache... or the bellini overload from the night before... and I didn't know if the headache was bellini related or lack of sleep realted...

I should have known better. I do NOT EVER GET HUNGOVER. EVER. I should have guessed.

So weeks later my head is still pounding like the drums have no mercy. I feel nauseous about 80 per cent of my waking day. I have little apetite... I can't sleep for the heat inside me... and the sweat I drown in. I am irritable (moreso than usual) my neck is stiffer than my ex's mother... I really am not sure how to survive this.

I went to the doctor, finally... because I... a) hardly ever get a headache that isn't obviously period related. b) Don't get hungover and it never lasts 2 weeks... c) never get a sore throat/stiff neck that lasts longer than a few hours nevermind a week... d) really want my head to stop hurting.

Well, as suspected, my glands are swollen... I have a bit of temperature, and my head hurts because unbeknown to me, there's a lymphnode at the base of the neck at either side of the spine... and mine is rock hard, tightening every muscle in my head, neck and upper shoulders. I also have a lump above my breast on the left side... and the doctor quirks her head... raises her brow as she says "Are you coughing?... have you ever been exposed to or had TB?"

MMMMMmmmmm No, no and No.

But do I get pain relief? No... I am allergic to narcotics and pain of this calibur requires some SERIOUS narcotics. I get told to take my muscle relaxant medication and sleep all weekend.

I get blood tests.... and cultures... and I should hear back on Monday if I test positive for Strep or Mono.

I bet everything I own that the tests come back negative and my body is just playing host to an unknown virus... yet again.

I like to call it glandular hokey-pokey...


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