I feel better when... 2007-07-30 9:36 p.m.


I ponder the endlessness of this fight.

I can't see beyond the exhaustion...
I can't feel past the pain in my bones.

I feel better than you're not on my mind all the time. The nausea leaves when I lose your face from my memory... if even for a second... it's relief.... and I'll take it.

And then you come back to me - the wind over the sheaths of wheat, the clouds over a jade sea. You always come back to me.

I stood in the sand of a beach once... and I realised then I was as close to you as I'll ever be. I was near the edge of the Earth. I was near Heaven. I was near you.

I walked through the surf - the future being pushed toward me, the past being pulled back... the symbolism was lost on me then... though I could feel your fingers on my legs... I coud feel you reaching from across the miles... over the waves, down through the midnight sky to where I waded in my grief.

I set a kiss free for you that night. From my hands to the sand and from the sand to the sea. I don't know if you ever got it or if you knew it was from me.


previous next comments diaryland old