take me out to the ball game 2006-11-20 2:14 p.m.


What do you say when the past grabs your shoulders just to shake you?

Pssst... you're married and anything previous to that doesn't matter?

Well no... that isn't how it works sadly... I wish like hell it was.

I was digging in the fridge this morning and something in there... be it the cold... be it whatever is going bad in the crisper reminded me so much of you...

The cold in my veins tells me you're nothing I can ignore despite my life's circumstance. Married.... single... a mother or not.

She's right in the sense that we are put on a path full of people we need to know and every day I wonder why it is I need to know you.
I wonder why it's you I'll love until my dying day and beyond.

Why I think about you every day in almost every moment... even when I don't mean to - or want to.

Who were we before?

Does it matter?

i was reading entries from last year... reading about you... and you are a constant struggle for me... and the more I pull away the more the magnet keeps me glued.

Who would I be sans toi?

Would I be me?

Would I be this pretty? This hurt? This smart? This wronged?

You get your needles... and your excuses... and your bad moods and your shitty life to explain it all to you...

I get nothing.... nothing... just a girl where she shouldn't have been... meeting a man she should have never met... and wishing she could take it back.


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