� you can dangle the carrot.... � 2006-07-24 � 10:54 p.m. �
With my conscience, you'd think I am Catholic....
She's right... I'm not a mule... and dangling the carrot won't work... She's also right that every man who isn't Davy or Blair or Mikey-Miguel... they all reek like J somehow... have J tendancies... say one thing... mean another... or mean what they say but don't have the balls to prove it.
She's right that love is Trevor... who takes all he can get from me... damn good laughs... fine dinners... my respect. Love is Nate... who has never let a woman or a boy come between us... we'd probably still curl up together in my bed and sleep for days... ring or no ring on both our hands. It's who we are... nothing else will ever do.
Blair's right... I need better people around me. I need rid of the J's and Marc's and such... I need rid of the boys who knot my stomach up.... screw up my cycle... the boys who meet me in my sleep and make me weep.
I have a big heart... and when I see the potential for a flower to spring from a seed... I'll nurse it... and nurse it... until I grow a tree.
Davy's always right... but mostly right that I love too fast... too hard... too much... and more often than not I love those who could never love me back the same way.
There's something about men born in early December... and the third week of June that makes me weak.
There's something about July 16... that makes it the perfect day to wash my clothes and fall in love... despite my best effort... a hangover... and cinnamon on my breath.
I wonder if he remembers that day like I do...
I wonder if he'll remember the wind for the rest of his days.
And there's something about the men around me that makes me feel like rice paper...
Intricate... Transparent.
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