snap-cry-crack-smile 2006-07-01 10:18 p.m.


I sit here shaking like a marionette.... moving each joint as if it was attached to a string... because I feel that way sometimes.... like I'm being played.

Until tonight... when I could hear in his voice that he's tired... and he just has nothing to say... and he doesn't think he's worth my effort.

I can hear it... I need to hear it sometimes.

But he is.

I make a poor puppet.

I rather be made of clay... be moulded... and have the heat of hands make my shape.... I rather that over strings.

~He is a china shop... I am a bull... He is really good food and I am full.~

I discovered the many shades of love this week... the many folds to hate....

I'm exhausted from searching my soul... I exhausted from doing it alone.

I really haven't been myself these last weeks... I've been so lightheaded.... emotional... so snap-cry-crack-smile...

I want that to go away.


previous next comments diaryland old