� snap-cry-crack-smile � 2006-07-01 � 10:18 p.m. �
I sit here shaking like a marionette.... moving each joint as if it was attached to a string... because I feel that way sometimes.... like I'm being played.
Until tonight... when I could hear in his voice that he's tired... and he just has nothing to say... and he doesn't think he's worth my effort.
I can hear it... I need to hear it sometimes.
But he is.
I make a poor puppet.
I rather be made of clay... be moulded... and have the heat of hands make my shape.... I rather that over strings.
~He is a china shop... I am a bull... He is really good food and I am full.~
I discovered the many shades of love this week... the many folds to hate....
I'm exhausted from searching my soul... I exhausted from doing it alone.
I really haven't been myself these last weeks... I've been so lightheaded.... emotional... so snap-cry-crack-smile...
I want that to go away.
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