Barney is a bastard. 2006-05-10 10:31 p.m.


Tonight... while cleaning out our condo (yes, still) my husband not-so-smartly decides to throw the legs of our patio table off the balcony, three floor to the ground...

Well, he's a man... and men lack the good judgement to make the best choices. They go for easy... and I have learned in the years to choose my battles wisely... and so I let him toss the table legs...

Well what does the dumb bastard below us do? *haha* He drags his Barney Gumble ass out of his unit onto his balcony to bitch at me. *haha*... Again... men lack the judgement to make wise decisions... My mood is as foul as it's been for days... and I, of all people, don't give a fuck what he has to say in the best of moods... let alone when I'm in pain and cranky.

"Uhhhhh, like you shouldn't throw things off your balcony two floors down."

"yeah... why are you talking to me again?"

"Because you're throwing things down."

"Where I'm standing, my friend, I'm picking it up... not throwing..."

"Well, if you don't throw it, you can't hit anybody and like, people can't get hurt."

So I know he ate his Wheeties today... but I'm still failing to see why I'm suppose to give a shit.

"Yes... well thank you, my friend, for the tip... but again... I didn't throw anything... and I don't care." All the while thinking "but I will be throwing this at you soon, asshole.."

"Well, could you just carry it down next time?"

"Mmmm I doubt it."

"Well DON'T THROW SHIT AGAIN OK?" He's obviously irritated at this point..

"Yeah, friend... that won't be a problem... Bye bye now..." as I wave.. I see the steam spurting from his Barney nostrils...

I roll my eyes and walk away knowing well that that was the last thing we were moving from the condo anyway...

And as my husband walks out the front door I yell... "Way to get me in shit... throwing your shit off the balcony! YOU COULD have hurt someone!"...

and my husband laughs his asshole "I-don't-give-a-fuck" laugh... kinda like "bah-ha-hen-hen..."

I join in...

There's nothing like the wedded bliss of being ignorant assholes together... right in from of a man's face... but hey... be proud... I didn't call him a cocksucker... like you know I wanted to...


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