� ~Like a bottle washing up to the shore...~ � 2006-02-16 � 6:31 p.m. �
~Babydoll
I don't know what year you'll read this in, what life has brought, nor what lucky man gets to keep you for his, but, you're getting married.
I always thought you would be marrying me. As sentimental as it is I have thought about that day a million times or more over the years, and more now that I'm ill. Even after you moved to Alberta, and stayed a year, then two and here again for three, I thought, some how I could coax you away from that bloke and convince you of me dream.
I can see you standing in all your glory, with your perfect body and your salon perfect curls. In white, or maybe not, but something simple, and drapped and backless, and soft silky with something to sparkle.
I wish I could see it for real.
As I write I can only imagine how nice you'll smell and how I know the scent of sweetpeas and jasmine will be stained in your lover's memory as the way you were when he kissed you on your wedding day. He'll never love another smell that much, and nothing else will bring him back to happiness like that will.
Maybe that's my dream of you on your wedding day. I'm sure it's also his.
You'll find happiness. I know you're life will bring you good things, wonderful things, fulfilling memories, joys, loves and tears and I know you'll make the best of every wave that washes up to the shore.
You are greatness. You're nearly mythical with this ability to take any war and make it into something worth fighting for. Something worth talking about for lifetimes. There is nothing you can't do or overcome and that will hold true your whole married life.
I wonder what you're like in the moment you'll read this. Are you older? Have you had babies yet? Have you lived? Have you been Downunder? I wonder what you're wearing, and what you're body's like and if you are very much the image I think you'll be at 25, 30, 35, 40.
I have missed you. In life. In death. I have missed you not just for the girl you are but for the woman you grew into and for the man I became knowing you. I miss the man I was when I was with you, and now, today (or soon hereby) some man will understand what it's like to feel that way for always.
Wherever my death takes me, Doll, I will be close enough to share in the joy. I'm happy for you. I'm happy that someone loves you as well as I do and that someone will be there to protect you from life and to share in it. It's what I never had the first time around, what that union lacked, and it's why I walked away.
I don't have great words of wisdom. Only to love the way you always have. Smile like you always do. Laugh the way you laugh, from your toes up. Hug a lot. Kiss more. Look into his eyes and mean the words you say to him, every time you speak. Have him do the same. You'll know then, when there's a problem.
Be calm. Be healthy. Find balance in marriage, life and parenthood should it come.
Lastly, never change.
I am so proud of the things you've done, and I'll will be always.
Congratulations, My Love, on this day.
Stay beautiful. Stay you.~
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