The letter 2006-02-13 12:04 a.m.


This is how I am... the explanation email to the family.

~Auntie D., Uncle D., Auntie E., Dad... and if B. and W. had email addresses they would get this too... and should they call I will make sure both are told the same thing. And I know Auntie E., we had this conversation today, but I'm including you just the same.. and it's best everyone hears the same thing - from me.

I don't believe I have to defend myself, but I think some things need to be said.

I realize the late arrival my wedding announcements might have sprung some hard feelings. Auntie E. brought this to my attention, and I thank her for that. Hopefully not all of you were offended, but if so... let me explain where I stand.

It wasn't my intention in the least, and it's by no means a personal attack on any of you. Let's face it, we're not a close knit family. I hate the stupid family politics of "sometimes we like eachother, sometimes we don't" and of the six kids in your family, as a whole you can't all get along at once... it's silliness and it leaves nothing more than the nieces and the nephews on the sidelines, never sure what to do... and as I explained to Auntie that is the MAJOR reason why I opted to not have an Adamsville wedding. A brawl is not what I want for my husband's first introduction to my family. If you could all sit in the same room... and talk like adults... about the present and not about the past... and love the moment for what it is... I probably would have been married at home. That isn't the family reality and I think all of you know it can understand that.

With that exception of Uncle D. constantly staying in touch, I just don't feel close to my family. And I apologize for how that's been reflected at this time in my life. So yes, there were other people who knew about my plans ahead of time... people who call... stay in touch and knew from the get go I was getting married in Mexico in March. It was never a secret... only few people took interest to begin with.

I never thought in a thousand years any of you would ever want to cough up $2000 to make it to my wedding anyway, and I would hope that a late invitiation wouldn't bother anyone. I hope you would have all been happy to have one, just to know that I'm getting married, that I'm happy... no matter when or where or who will be there.

So yes, if you're going to be mad at anyone for the tardiness... be angry at me. Let me say for the record this had nothing to do with either of my parents... I'm a big girl and I take responsibility for it. I made them, labeled them, and had them distributed on my instrustruction... because, late or not, I wanted my family to have to know I am happy and that life is good. It wasn't sensitive of me, but I'm a G. too and I'm not always sensitive.

Hopefully you all understand my procrastining nature... and can see how it wasn't intentionally meant to hurt anyone. I want a small sunny wedding... and I am allowed to do things my way just this once.

If you can all be as gracious as Auntie E. has been today, and respect the way I did things... I would appreciate it... you all know, and should love me enough to realize it's not in my nature to cause sore spots. However, I have learned, it's impossible to please everyone in this family anyway... and if you can't find it in yourself to forgive me for underestimating how much you do care... I guess it's a blessing I live so far away.

Let this be the new way... saying things as they need to said now... and not letting them blister under the skin for twenty years.

Thanks, Auntie E. for being the first to break the chain.

So thanks for letting me explain... and thanks for understanding... and I'll be sure to send those of you who can't make it plenty of pictures... and know you will be missed.

Lots of love,
Amanda~

It's a matter of minutes before the "you're a bitch" emails come rolling in... luckily my armor is on...


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