� It's always too late. � 2006-01-31 � 9:24 p.m. �

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I remembered today is your birthday... I can't remember how old you would have been. If my brain didn't hurt I'm sure I could do the simple math... 29, I think.

I was talking to my cousin... and without realizing you've come and gone since those years bumming around Fernie town, she was asking about you... remembering you, more like... with this girlish tone to her voice, she has fond memories of the dork you were... the crazy stunts you pulled... the falling down the hill on you face and the ice burn.

And she says "Where is that crazy Auss, now anyway..."

I didn't have the heart... nor the gull to explain it... so I chocked back the tears I barely have the energy to cry... and manage "If I only knew...".

That part doesn't get easier... and it's little to do with how we left it... and entirely to do with realizing now what you were.

Happy Birthday, friend... wherever it is you are... I hope it's zen.

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