� If I had a tail.... � 2005-12-01 � 9:53 p.m. �
I feel exhausted of all zest... I feel no drive... no soul. I'm just empty.
haha I fucked up pretty big at work... so I'm not highly popular with the boss, but hey, in 4 years of being there this is only the second time I've fucked up big... and not as big as last time. And I do honestly feel bad for it.
Me: "I'm sorry about that job."
Boss: "I don't care."
Me: "Well, thanks. Apologize is all I can do at this point. It's done."
Boss: "Yeah but it just isn't good enough, is it?"
Me: "You're right, it isn't. It's not like I purposely fucked it up. It's not like fucking up is a habit of mine either. Is it? I saw it, it made sense to me, I ran it. No one said differently and it never crossed my mind."
Boss: "You should have read the docket."
Me: "Yes and I didn't. I'm sorry. If I had a tail, it'd be between my legs..."
and I go to my desk to muttle through what's left of the pile of those jobs needed yesterday. It's the root of the cause, but it isn't an excuse.
My boss walks by my desk later put his arm around me and makes a joke...
Me: "You sound as if I'm out of the doghouse..."
Boss: "Well, tomorrow I won't be so mad. It just isn't like you to fuck up and cost me."
He squeezes my shoulder... and walks off.
I grin... I can get in shit... be hated and be forgiven in the same twenty minutes... I suppose giving 125% most of the time makes up for the days when I run at 80.
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