� Chameleon � 2005-10-09 � 10:30 p.m. �
Jessica solved it for me... leave it to a piece of Davy's heart to answer something so Amanda...
I recently wrote about my extensive (but not expensive) wardrobe... and I wondered what it is about clothes and expensive perfume that I think I need...
Maybe it's my image of me. I feel if I never look or smell the same way twice... then I'm not the same girl twice.
It's the chameleon in me... the need to change... for the same reason I need different scenery... and I need to be busy... and accomplish things I never thought I could.
It's why I chose a career with the so many different paths... writing, graphics, layout, editing, photography... It's why I've made a point of excelling - in case I need them I have firm ground behind me. The same colour all the time bores me.
I too have an image of a girl... she has a new tank top... and a cute pair of jeans... her underwear and bra ALWAYS match and she smells of like one of 15 designer perfumes she has on her shelf...
Clothing and scent are my memories... I remember EVERYTHING by what I wore and how the moment smelled... from the time I crawled across a table in a sleeper to my grandfather... until now at 25. I fill my brain with things like...
"It was a cold day in '97 and I was wearing black pants and a teal top... tight fitting, with a lace underlay... black boots and my navy peacoat to keep me warm... even inside his presence chilled me. He smelled like Armani and basketball... his white shirt stretched from pulling the bottom up to wipe his face..."
It makes sense now, doesn't it? It's an effort to hide my memory... I change myself so I can't remember....
It never works
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