� I do deserve more � 2004-07-08 � 9:21 p.m. �
I do deserve better...
Marc ~ I gave up my childhood for you... so you could love smack and crack... and drink like tomorrow would never come. I hate you for it... but love how I learned from you... loved how I loved you, how I still do.
Grant ~ I gave up my sanity... my pride... I gave my heart... my soul.. my freedom... and for what? For you to love and conquer... and die.
Blair ~ I gave everything... my home.. my friends... my comfort... my health... to a degree, my sanity... I've worked harder than hell to survive and most days I wonder if you've even noticed over the years... all I give... or if you only see what you it seems you do... all I don't give so freely.
Giving tires me....
So when he stands before me and says I don't give him any motivation to wait around... I think... what will he give me... if AGAIN... I gave a man everything? What would he do for me... when I have nothing left to call my own?
When I take everything I know as safe and comfortable and throw it to the wind?
WHAT then?
All I want is for someone to sacrifice on me behalf for a change... someone to do for me what I've spend my whole fucking life doing for them...
Giving isn't giving when you want it back... but I am not a one-way highway... and this life is going to bleed me dry.
~I watched a mermaid break free on my bathroom floor... for a moment, I thought I was her. Or so, I hoped.~
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