� debrief � 2004-02-22 � 7:20 p.m. �
I am tangled...
I don't know if talking helped or made me think more... I am not sure if it helped like it should have.
I guess there is no switch to make me believe what it is you believe... nothing to see myself as a pure heart... when all I really feel is a wound - a wound that when I breathe too deeply, fills with yesterday's blood.
I know I shouldn't live for circumstance, but I think circumstance has me tied right now... and I don't think any amount of moving will get me free this time. Not now.
I always find my way... in turn... eventually... and I was thinking today, that maybe it's best to be settled with the choices we've made... best not thinking about what would have been.... it probably only glorifies an equally hidious situation, in a different place with different faces...
When the wax gets dull I am really nothing more than a "special place" in someone elses heart...
And I won't give up more than what I will get... I am through with that.
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