� Escape me. � 2004-01-22 � 6:28 p.m. �
I got an email from a girl I used to know... way back when... in the dark ages.
I am not really sure how I feel about it.. how willing I am to be friendly.... she represents so much I hate... much muck and pain... just reading her words... unsubstanial in meaning... nearly gagged me...
And it isn't personal.... well... without the past that connects us I think she relatively ok... without the memory... if she was just a girl, we might be able to be friends...
There are just somethings "sorry" doesn't fix... moments where the only retribution is equal blood.... and I always thought I was hugely forgiving... but with her finding me... I see I am not.
I guess I could never do as she did... and if that's being judgemental... fine.
I'll try, H... to be the best I can be with what I have now... but given, everything, I wasn't left with much.
I am not sure what it you want... but I'll try to be whatever it is you need me to be now if I am the only one you have to trust... but I am not okay in the sense that everything has gone away...
I am not in the magic business.... my past has yet to escape me.
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