� constant � 2004-01-18 � 10:38 a.m. �
My life is letter-folding around me. Piece over piece at each end. Somewhere in the middle is score and truth... is reality and the core of a girl who knows... knows better of... and knows a lot...
The week is over... a life lived and gone... and I am somehow settled knowing that... that it is over... and normalicy, if it ever existed for me, will begin again soon...
I have a family here... a mother and father, a brother, a sister, a grandmother... two aunts, and their husbands... and this past weekend it hit me... they really are my family... as I hugged my sister and she cried harder... as my mother passed me in the hall, kissed me and said "I love you"... as Dad walked with my from the grave site arms wrapped around me.. and stood in the kitchen later - arm around me... an aunt hugging me in the hallway whispering "that one was free".
I found it further when I read the obituary... I am listed as family, beside my boyfriend's name. I stopped - "That wasn't necesary..." My heart sank.
There's a closeness here and I wouldn't be if not for them....
Maybe that is the constant I need...
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