� goodbyes burn � 2004-01-16 � 11:57 a.m. �
We're burrying Grandpa in a couple hours...
I would pay a King's ransome to not be here today... and I know that is selfish - though nonetheless true.
I have never known a funeral to be a production... days of get togethers and dinners and socializing... presentations. It simply isn't how we do it at home... and I am finding it excrutiating.
They asked me to read at the service today... the letter to Grandpa that I posted here days ago... I had sent it for him while he was in the hospital and I hear it meant a lot to him... so, the family wants it read...
I can't, Grandpa... and I know I don't have to tell you why.
I spent a bit doing up the programs yesterday and the night before. I wish I had more time... I don't like them, necessarily, but Maureen loves them and that is what matters. She says you'd be pleased... and I know she's right.
Well... off to get dressed... get pretty... I am afraid... I am not sure what of... but I simply feel afraid...
Of goodbye, I guess.
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