� still � 2003-11-13 � 9:14 p.m. �

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Today I really feel as ugly as TV says I am.... my circles hang down around my toes.... my stomach aches from the constant heaving... acid burning holes in my throat.

I am a wreck. But that was never in question was it?

I am amused nonetheless... by this thing we call living... by the fight that finds us... and how it all ends.

Mother's intuition amazing as mine calls me at 11 am... she knows I am sick. She can feel it in her bones... we've always had that connection she and I.... even as a babe in the hospital and she ages away with my brothers... she knew.... she knew when I needed her touch.... the difference then was she came to me... and now, she can't.

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