� naked and screaming � 2003-02-02 � 6:55 p.m. �
I couldn't sleep last night so I was up... contemplating what I shouldn't... listening to words I am in no position to believe... but I do.
It was like you put your lips over mine and sucked the air out my chest... or hit me in the gut so hard I couldn't stay standing.
I hate when you're right... I always have, but i hate it most when you're right about me... and where I step.
I guess all the time you knew me I thought you didn't... but that was me being young and you being dumb.
I never really took the time to step out of me into you. I've never seen myself in your view...
And those little moments you recall that make me who I am, you say... the attraction you claim you've witness and held on to... I don't notice...
God, I am afraid of heights and you hold me so high... it scares me. And I am glad more than anything that I've known you and loved you... that i still do... I am glad it was you that taught me so much about growing and living... love and lies... but when does friendship become sickness... and when does friendship die?
You're a dull ache in my back... an itch in my eye... a constant reminder than i am living despite myself and my misery...
I don't know what I did to deserve knowing you and I am not compleetly sure why I lost you, but I am fine with that now... fine with the me who lives without you.
Mountains out of mudhills and I wonder if you're the dirt or the rain.... and I wonder what it is about me that plagues you this way.
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