� Days � 2002-12-03 � 8:28 p.m. �
I am suddenly drained... of eveything.
My day wasn't a long day nor a bad day... but still it feels as though I haven't slept in weeks.
I thought about Lacey today... it's been a month since her death. The ache still feels like it was yesterday.
Apparently the ones you love live on in your heart... but in my heart alone, isn't good enough.
And so I've struggled today between smiles and tears... between a false reality and one I can't fake.
A friend of mine helped me deal with saddness last year... at a time when I didn't know myself... know how to control my thoughts or my emotions...
He told me to set a aside a few minutes everyday to cry... about anything that hurts... about my past... and the present and the uncertainty of the future... Cry... and be aware that saddness and the salt that falls from it... is ok.
And that's what I am going to do... I can have good day... But at it's end I still might hurt.
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